I’ve definitely had a reduction in my depressive symptoms, and I’ve felt more like  myself. I’ve still had some hot flashes, especially at night, but I can say that I definitely feel different… in that I’m feeling more like myself.

I’ve felt more optimistic.

I’ve noticed more color in the sunrise.

I’ve enjoyed working out (walking and running!!!) with one of my best friends a few days this week.

I didn’t melt into a puddle of sadness when my Lola‘s Christmas package arrived and it made me realize how much I missed her.

I’ve laughed during rehearsals.

I’ve read the most incredible book in, practically, EVER*.

It’s been a really decent week. I’m so grateful for that.

I think this is the week I’ll bring back Life Well Lived… If you are [still?] interested in being featured, don’t hesitate to email me.

* Harry Potter is, and will always be my one true literary love. However, my slutty mistress is definitely The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. It was one of the most gorgeous, tragic, uplifting, thought provoking, heart growing books that has ever been penned… I’m sure of that. I may write a proper review, with more specific thoughts about the book, but I might not… I’m not sure yet. It’s almost too perfect to even try and gather my thoughts in one place.

© Kelsey for Kelsey Toney, 2012. | Permalink | No comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: books, endometriosis, jess, lifewelllived, lola, lupron, LWL, menopause, reading, recovery, TFIOS, the fault in our stars

It was a slow start, but I’m starting to get some fabulous people to contribute to my Life Well Lived Feature!!

I would LOVE to feature beautiful moments from your life, so, whether you blog or NOT, put something together, and send it my way!! (That means you, yes, YOU.)

Anyway, Wednesday night, I went to my second Hip Hop Hustle class, here in Denton! WHOA, it was sooooo hard, and awesome. I was a sweaty, sweaty BEAST by the end! But I saw good friends, so I think that made it all worth it…

That’s me and my GORGEOUS friends, Gina (the instructor) and NICCI! YAY Nicci!

Yea, I know, it looks like we’re up in the club, but really, we’re GROSS, stanky and tired, and in an indoor hockey rink!! Hahaaa. Cool, Right?

Nicci and I talked for a bit after the class, about blogging. She and I are 2 DFW area bloggers, and are actually from the same suburb of the metroplex too, so we have tons in common. I LOVE that girl, she’s so awesome.

Both of us have been on a little bit of a hiatus from blogging, not intentionally, exactly, but it’s happened. And we’re both pretty excited to be on the wagon again, after all we feel better, more focused, more accountable, and more “on the wagon” when we’re blogging… so look for more from her as well. Which is good, cause she’s awesome.

I am loving this hip hop class for two reasons:

1. It makes me sweat. Like, wring-out-your-t-shirt sweat.

2. It keeps me in my body and gives me more spatial awareness which will improve my skills as a VERY new and VERY inexperienced dancer. Dancing and choreography are required pieces of the Musical Theatre world, which I’m invested in right now, so it’s a great way for me to get my work out on.

30 Day Challenge: Day 3 Thoughts on Drugs and Alcohol

This will be short and sweet.

I really have no desire to discuss my morality with the world at large, because frankly, no one’s experiences are the same. I don’t hold you to my moral standard, nor do I want to be held to yours. But, to address the topic of the day, I can summarize as follows:

I choose to respect my body. I hope you choose to respect yours. If I choose to imbibe, I do so responsibly, and with full awareness and responsibility for any consequences, mild or severe, good or bad that may come as a result of any of my actions.

I really think that’s the only way to look at things… maybe it seems over simplistic, but it works for me.

Thanks for all your sweet messages about my being back in the blogging saddle. The KT.com readership may not be big on comments, but you are big on emails and private messages, so I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here, and still reading even though I’ve been so absent for so long.

Question: Do you like to dance? How about at home in front of the mirror, or out in the club? Let me know how you like to shake that groove thang!!

© Kelsey for Kelsey Toney, 2011. | Permalink | No comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: 30dayblogchallenge, dance, hip hop, lifewelllived, LWL

It isn’t me, it’s you.

I kid. Anyway, I’m doing GOOD. I’m happy, and that’s nice.

Lemme tell you about some of the things going on in mah world. Hmmm…

Well, Daron and I have been watching the original Star Trek movies, which is GANGSTER. I love scifi… bad scifi is even better. Not that Star Trek is bad, mind you, it’s pretty awesome. Wrath of Khan was AMAZING, and definitely in my top 7 sci fi movies of all time. (I need to make that list official at some point.)

So, yea, Leonard Nimoy is like my favorite person EVER, now

… except for Daron (who isn’t a Vulcan, which totally counts against him… actually, maybe he is a Vulcan)

What else… There is a DFW area theatre awards organization called The Column Awards, and their big GALA (The theme is the ROCKY HORROR COLUMN AWARDS) is just a few weeks away. I was cast as Magenta in the opening number!

This is awesome for several reasons…

1. I was JONESING for a little stage action. A little singing, a little dancing, a little crazy makeup… That’s what I’m talking about.

2. I’m gonna get to perform in front of lots of my friends, and lots of people I don’t know yet, but would like to! So that’s awesome too.

3. The time commitment was relatively small, compared to a full scale production, which is probably a blessing.

Last but not least, being NOT cast in a (different) show recently, has made me really want to be sure that I’m not using a POTENTIAL rehearsal schedule to slack off from working out. So, I’m grateful for the clarity of mind that came from not being cast. It got me off my butt and into my running shoes for the first time in MONTHS! remember this girl??

Yea, me too.

I’m gonna go find her.

Email or comment or send me a carrier pigeon! I miss you guys!

**SMOOOOOOOOCH**

© Kelsey for Kelsey Toney, 2011. | Permalink | No comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: movies, music, running, theatre

I’m in a good mood this morning, which rules. I am often in good moods, but sometimes they take me by surprise… like this morning. So, that’s great. haha.

Today I wanted to take a second and respond to some interesting questions I’ve had on formspring. 

Do you have any recurring dreams? If so, what do you think it says about your personality? How about your unconscious hopes, fears, and desires?

I do not currently have any recurring dreams. Honestly I don’t dream all that often. I probably have a dream that I remember wisps of once every 2 to 3 weeks.

I did, however, have a recurring dream almost every night beginning the day after I lost my grandpa in 2002 for almost 3 months. That recurring dream changed my heart, and was the inspiration for the symbol that I have tattooed on my left wrist

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

I like where I live. I love our house, I love our little Dallas suburb. But I can also see myself living somewhere else.

We’ve talked about living in the southwest, either rocky mountainy or red rocky.
I’d of course love to live on/near a beach, but since the world might end and all of california might fall into the ocean, we’ll probably stay further inland. haha.

I do like the city and can imagine living there, but not for a long time… and I also like very rural settings, and can see living in a place with no people around for miles. I guess I just like living… no matter the location. As long as I’m with the one I love.

If your pet were arranging a dinner party, who do you think they would invite and what would they serve?

If Tinni and Dala were hosting a dinner party, I think it would be a great event!!
I think Tinni is a fierce Queen of the most outlandish and glamorous type. Gay, yes, I think my cat is straight up gay. (and of course I support his right to be whoever he chooses to be, and to identify as a homeowsexual if he chooses. Yes. I just typed hoMEOWsexual) bwahahaaa.

Tinni posing for a Real Simple spread (above) and Tinni saying, “Le Sigh” (below)

Actually, Tinni might be in drag for the big event. Who knows?

Sweet Dala is kinda butch, and no nonsense… she’d be the one actually holding it all together. Tinni would be crying over his salmon pate’, flailing his arms and screaming about how, "its all going to be simply RUINED, and everyone is going to HATE it, and I look totally FAT in this BALLGOWN! I knew I shouldn’t have picked red with this WRETCHED orange hair of mine. WAIILLLLLLL", so, Dala would have to make sure things went off without a hitch.
Which they would.

Tinni battling a tantrum when the cleaner ruined his favorite Jimmy Choos (above) and The elusive Dala trying to find a moment of solace in the face of constant adversity (below).

They’d serve salmon and a coq au vin, with vanilla ice cream for desert. Running water would be available for their guests, of course.

I imagine they’d invite Daron and I… cause, you know, they love us. (we’d decline, cause we know how cray cray Tinni is when he’s event planning) I think they’d also invite my mom’s new puppies Dooley and Bella, cause they’re cute.

The pope and Jesus would also be in attendance.

**If you have a question for me, you can use the form on my blog page, or to to my formspring and ask there. It is a lot of fun.

I’ll leave you with a VLOG wherein I discuss my experience 2 weeks into New Rules of Lifting for Women! Also a shout out to RUBY of Completely Delicious Life, and a response to her question from my previous post! **hi Ruby!!**

© Kelsey for Kelsey Toney, 2010. | Permalink | 2 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: dala, formspring, NROLFW, questions, tinni, vlog

As you know, I’m not into “apologizing” for not blogging… so I won’t.

But… that being said, I’ve MISSED you. I’ve missed my healthy living friends and bloggy buddies.

Isn’t it true that the first blog back from “hiatus” is always the hardest? Cause you don’t know what to say, or if you should address your absence. And sometimes I have too MUCH to say upon returning! Like, there are about 5 blogs I could write today… but I won’t. I’ll just start here, where I am, and go from there.

So, last I left off, I was doing Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, my weight dipped into the 130s for the first time, and I was overwhelmed with all of my amazing new friends.

Since then, the show has wrapped, and is, for all intents and purposes, dead and gone. It is so sad. Sad to not go be with those people every night. Sad to not wear those dresses, sad, sad, sad… But, I’ll do another show, as soon as time, and my ever patient husband will allow… bwahahahaaaa. <3

I’ve also started a weight training program called New Rules of Lifting for Women (NROLFW from here on out)

I read the book in the spring, but couldn’t commit to the program until summer, due to rehearsal schedules. So, I wasted no time, and joined a gym in my town that had a decent promotion and no contract, and I’ve been doing pretty well!

There are 2 workouts, A day and B day, and you do 3 workouts a week for 6 weeks (plus 2 bonus workouts) so, I’ve been going to the gym Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. This is my 2nd week! I already feel stronger… our bodies are so cool.

This program is about lifting and getting stronger, doing exercises with free weights mostly, and not on machines (which can cause incorrect form, because they’re not personalized and every body’s “right form” is slightly different) which makes ya feel like a badass.

I’m supplementing wither other things like walking, jogging, swimming, and WEEDING OUR EVER LOVING FLOWER BEDS on the Tuesdays and Thursdays in between, but the book warns about doing too much, and not letting muscles rebuild between weeks.

Anyway, I really miss you, and should be around more in the coming weeks.

Hope that’s ok.

© Kelsey for Kelsey Toney, 2010. | Permalink | 5 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: fitness, NROLFW

So, if I’m being honest… (and I am) I’ve been allowing my foot injury to keep me from doing any major calorie burning for about 2 months. Here is the timeline, as I figure it.

December 13th, I went for a 4 mile run. On the 14th, I woke up and could barely walk.

On January 1, I started practicing yoga at an amazing studio in my town, and I could NOT be more happy with the progress I’ve experienced in my yoga practice.

On January 21st, I went to the podiatrist for the first time, and learned that I have a textbook case of plantar fasciitis. I was prescribed NO weight bearing activity, but was told I could swim, use the recumbent bike, and do some yoga (careful with poses that cause me to be on my toes or apply great pressure to my feet (plank on toes, some lunging)

So… while I’ve done some walking, one jazzercise class (before I saw the doc), and yoga a couple times most weeks… I’ve not had a good hard sweat in a while.

Sad, isn’t it? I’ve wanted to run so bad, that I’ve let it sour my opinion of other activities and foster feelings of laziness!

So, today, I went to the school weight/equipment room, and went to town on the recumbent bike. It was pretty okay, made my knees feel a little weird… but it made me sweat, and I REALLY missed that!

As far as today’s eats, I started with yogurtoats, my favorite breakfast… I made it with the new yoplait greek (I’m testing the new yoplait and dannon varieties) topped with some fresh raspberries. As always, this always looks awful, but tastes YUM

Yogurtoats included-

-Strawberry Yoplait Greek yogurt

-bottom of the Bob’s Red Mill thick rolled oats, probably 1/2 cup

-8 or 9 raspberries

For lunch, we had a local dinner company bring some eats, I had about a 1/2 to 3/4 c serving of a mexican casserole, 2 slices of honeydew, and a few bites of a chicken tortilla soup broth, that was tomato based, (and totally chock full of cilantro, AKA DEVIL HERB so I hated it and didn’t eat more than a couple slurps)

In the afternoon, there was a giant bowl of banana pudding, and I had one teaspoon full. When I went back later to grab a pic… it was licked clean. haha. It was good.

I also had most of an apple later in the afternoon, and about 5 bites of a mushroom risotto that was going to be lunch, before I found it was catered.

Dinner, we decided fast food was on the agenda, as we’ve not stocked up on dinners at the store, so I had 5 nuggets from wendy’s most of a plain baked potato (with some newman’s ranch) and grapes.  (I may have had a few bites of Daron’s frosty too. )

I’m sleepy, so I’m going to go to bed early tonight! I’ve got to get ready for my trip, 2 coworkers and I are going to Austin for a conference and we leave on wednesday! woot!

© Kelsey for Kelsey Toney, 2010. | Permalink | 11 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: food, workout

You have been nothing if not super supportive, which I really appreciate.

I am fighting a bit with body image for the past few weeks, because I know that I’m the same weight… (I’ve weighed like, 144 for four months) but I’m absolutely, and undeniably losing muscle, which I hate.

I’m combating those softening feelings by going to yoga 2-4 times a week, as my doctor forbid me to do any weight bearing activities including walking, running, strength training, and pretty much all calisthenics. I can ride my bike though, so I had daron air up my tires yesterday. (THANKS, love!)

Anyway, I’m just feeling sluggish and less than my best. I’m not surprised to learn that I’m craving cardio… actually, yea. I am.

Anyway, I guess that’s all I have to report tonight…

Don’t forget I’m giving away yummy snacks from buffalo nickel wingers…

Please verify that you’ve left a comment for EACH of the 3 possible entries! Some of you tweeted, but never left a separate comment.
Entries close at 9pm tomorrow (tuesday) night!

I leave you now with pictures of my FAVORITE cows. The cutest cows, I mean, the MOST completely cute cows in the whole world.

My Spanish bovine buddies.

all images copyright 2009 kelseytoney.com all rights reserved

© Kelsey for Kelsey Toney, 2010. | Permalink | 9 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: cows, health, weight

This is hard. Blogging is DIFFICULT for me sometimes… not because I don’t like writing, not because I don’t enjoy expressing myself, but because I get scared.

I get scared of being honest.

I get scared of putting my feelings out for the world to see.

I get scared of being thought foolish, or lazy, or false.

I get scared of what you’ll think of me…

I get scared that you’ll have no opinion at all.

One of my goals for 2010 is to care a whole lot less about what everyone thinks of me. To not measure myself against anyone else… to not measure my value in blog comments or @replies, or emails.

But I find myself sensoring myself, and leaving out details and information… experiences I’m going through, for fear of your reaction (or lack of reaction).

So, I’m going to take a page from heather and mish,  (two girls who are so refreshingly candid that it makes me write posts like this) and work on being more honest with you, because, let’s face it. You’re my friends… my family… my accountability. If I can’t be honest with you, then I’m almost certainly not being honest with myself.

That being said, I need to come clean about something (probably several somethings, but one day at a time! )

I’ve been pretty quiet about my participation in the Dallas Rock n Roll half marathon.

In December, I went for an amazing 4 mile run. I felt strong and steady… like I could run for days. The following morning, I could barely walk. I brushed it off, rested for a few weeks, got on our dtreadmill and blundered through about half a mile before quitting due to pain. Two mondays ago, I got on again, and managed to run 30 seconds before literally falling off in tears.

I vistited the podiatrist, who confirmed that I have a case of plantar fasciitis and peroneal tendonitis. She’s told me that I won’t be running for a couple of weeks for sure, until my follow up appointment next week where we’ll “see where things are”. I still experience pain daily (hourly?) and I’ve got to keep it real. Even if she decides that the PF is better by March, I will CERTAINLY not be running 13 miles comfortably, not to mention that as someone recovering from PF, the idea of running/walking for 3 hours is, at this point, NOT recommended by my doctor.

I’ve cried, trust me.

But can you believe that my tears were because I would have to tell YOU? Cause I don’t want you, (many of you, strangers) to think that I’m weak, or quitting, or making excuses.

Girls like caitlin, for example, just seem to LAUGH in the face of injury… (Is she tougher than me? Is she made of stronger stuff than I?)

So, with a heavy heart, I have to be honest with you, and with myself. The 2010 Rock n Roll half is just NOT a healthy endeavor for me.

UGGHHHHHHHHHH.

I just have to be smart, and I have to stay healthy, and I have to get well so that I can run until I’m 90 years old, and part of that is making good decisions. There are a bajillion of other halfs, and when I’m well, I know that I’ll take one on. I know that it will happen, but I have to listen to my body and my doctor.

I’ve worried that I’m letting you all down. I’ve worried that you’ll feel like I haven’t earned your respect… that I’m not hardcore enough.

(I’m sure you won’t  believe this, but there are girls, more than I ever expected, who have told me that I have inspired them. That I’ve encouraged them to be better, reach higher, work harder. And I’ve worried that I don’t deserve that admiration. That I don’t deserve to be in a position of influence, of guidance, of leadership.)

But, this  is a passing of a torch. A closing of a chapter.

I just can’t care so much what you think, and I can’t wait on baited breath for your approval, and I can’t cry over your disappointment.

I’ve got to stop being so hard on myself, and start loving and nurturing my efforts and progress instead…

So, there it is. Time to click “publish”

xo

© Kelsey for Kelsey Toney, 2010. | Permalink | 43 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: half marathon, health, injury, running, training

1) On Thursday I’d been on day 3 of a GRUMPY streak and I was NOT feeling a workout at all… but then, the SUN came out…

oh…

And we needed bread.

Luckily, the grocery store is a super speedy 1 mile (almost exactly to the hundredth of a mile!) from our front door, and I figured a 2 mile jaunt would do me some good.

It was cold, but I bundled up ready to run.

About .25 into my run, I began to wonder how I was going to get that bread home… cradle the bag like a baby? Stuff it into my jacket? Swing the grocery sack at my side like a crazy person??

I was in and out of the store in about 2 minutes, and knew what I had to do, BREAD PAPOOSE!!

My bundle of joy and I were home lickity split, and I also set a new mile PR with my speediest mile yet, 9:55!

2) This afternoon (Sunday), I set out for a 4 mile run… I was a little anxious, cause it is the longest distance I’d attempted in a while, but I know that out and backs are my preferred method, so I planned a great 2 mile jaunt along a fairly busy street.

I felt like I was just in a zone… a true runner’s high. While I was driving past the cars on the road, I was actively and honestly GRINNING from ear to ear… I mean a huge KELSEY smile (and if you know me, you know that is a pretty huge smile) and I ended up running a great pace, and very strong and steady 4 miles. I finished in 44:12 for an 11:02 pace, and walked for half a mile afterwards to cool down.

Now I’m happily chilling in my recovery socks.

Another thing that I learned on this evening’s run is that while out and backs are my favorite method, I always go past my half way point… like, if my nike+ or garmin says, “half way point” I always go past that, at least a quarter mile or so, so that when I get back, There is no doubt that I’ll be DONE when I get back to my starting point/home… Few things annoy me more than wanting to do a 3 mile run, and getting to my front door at 2.98 miles and having to lap the cul-de-sac!! ARGH.

Does anyone else do that?? Leave me a comment if that rings a bell!

You’ve also got a few hours left to enter my Dr. Kracker giveaway! Good luck!

© Kelsey for Kelsey Toney, 2009. | Permalink | 5 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: half marathon, running, training

I took a short vlog after my very first training run for the Dallas Rock n Roll half marathon!

I mentioned that some of you would be stoked for another vlog, and some would think I’m a dope, but its okay… I think it is fun…

And it can be easier than typing all the time!!

Here ya go!

Training run stats:

1.76 mi / 00:19 10:46 pace

Total training miles to date:

1.76 mi

Talk to you guys later!

© Kelsey for Kelsey Toney, 2009. | Permalink | 3 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: half marathon, running, training, vlog